Report Cards

Michael: Mom, can we go to Chuck E. Cheese's for my report card?

Mom: I don't know. We'll see.

Lauren (who is in Pre-K): Yeah mom, can we go to Chuck E. Cheese's 'cause I got straight on my A's and my name......


So, do you think I should take 'em? How can I say no to that?

Everyone Poops

Okay, so I'm in the "W" store today looking for this stinking book that I keep hearing about and all of a sudden I gotta go.

You know what I mean. The granola is on the move. I'm not at liberty to give up my search, so I am doing this little dance in the young adult section of "Smiley Face store".

I'm thinking, "you can hold it, girl. Just a little longer. Just find that book, check out and then you can go."

Well, finally, I acquiesce to my urge and cease hunting for The Graceling. I can.not. wait any longer. So, I make my way to my "favorite" place in rollback land. The lavatory.

There's something you don't know about me. I'm a private pooper. I don't like to make noises in public potties. It's always something I've been bashful about. I know what you're thinking. Everybody poops. I know this. I just don't want everyone to know I poop.

Moving along....I make it to the bathroom just in time for this cute little Barbara Bush, Sr. character to follow me in. She immediately starts up a conversation with me as we are headed to our stalls. Now, listen. Please don't ever do that. I know she was just being nice. Maybe she was lonely. I don't know her story. I only know mine. I had to poop, and I just wanted to go in private. I don't want to talk about the weather. I don't want to talk about the cute little croc look-a-likes that are on sale for $2.50. None of this interests me when my bowels give the growl.

I will actually wait until the bathroom is completely empty to....well.....empty. When I worked at Publix, I would take matches with me into the stall, so others would not have to indulge their senses in my pleasantness.

Anywho, back to the story. She ends up in the stall right next to me. Now, I have got to go realllllllly bad by now. I waited way too long. It's all I can do just to get my toilet seat cleaned off and covered. This woman is still talking. About what, you ask? I have no stinkin' (like the pun?) clue. I'm trying to be nice, but all I can think about is the deafening explosion that is about to take place that will keep me from the conversation and will probably end the conversation. I am now waiting, not so patiently, to go. It was only by the grace of God that I was able to persevere. I'm praying no one else comes in. If I can just hold out another minute, she will be gone and I can proceed. I almost told her to shut up and leave, but I refrained.

She finally left. I quickly went before the cleaning man interrupted me. Everything went fine. I survived. I wasn't accosted by any more former first ladies.

And, dagnabbit, I never did find The Graceling.

So, my question to you is, are you weird like that? Do you have a phobia or an idiosyncrasy that sets you apart as unique?

I've been rather candid today. My mother encouraged me to reconsider before I posted this. I told her, "Mom, it's funny. I'm bashful about pooping, but not talking about pooping." Weird.

The Image in the Mirror....

I've been doing a lot of self reflection in these last few months. The bible study I'm going through is really giving me pause to consider why I do what I do.

I've discovered a few things:

1. I'm selfish. I love to do what I love to do. Most of you would say, "No big deal, Melissa." Well, it is if it consumes your life. I have heard it said, "Those who don't learn from history are condemned to repeat it." I have some things from my past that I need to learn from....especially about selfishness.
2. Am I involved in Kingdom work or church work? There is a difference.
3. Who do I treat better? Those who I barely know or those I live with?
4. Am I willing to do something for someone else regardless of what's in it for me?

These are just a few of the things that have been on my mind as of late. I am a thinker. The wheels in my head never stop turning.

I want to make a difference in this world. I want to be someone God can use. I want to, but if the sacrifice is too great, will I be willing to make it? I pray I will......

Let me hear from you. What are your struggles? I'm not here to judge. Sometimes it's just nice to have a little validation from others.

~Define Change~

Vicki at Not So SAHM wrote a post yesterday that echoes everything I have been thinking and feeling about the direction of our country. I pray I'm wrong, but things have crept in under the guise of "tolerance and unity" that are really and truly "conditional tolerance" and "conditional unity". Her words are very though provoking. Even if you don't agree with her stance please, at least, be "tolerant" without condition.....Thanks.......to read It's Time for Change! click here.

BTW, check out the new blog. Anyone who loves Lost is welcome to stop by:

Sussing Out Lost

Interesting Tidbits of Info

I'm praying for a safe day and that our new president will make good decisions.

Okay, that being said, I'm also praying for our nation and the world. I found out this morning something kind of intriguing about the new President's armored vehicle. Read on.....

Excerpt from article by Paul Hudson:

Barack Obama will ride in an all-new Cadillac Presidential Limousine after his inauguration as the 44th President of the United States today.
He will use the vehicle, nicknamed "the Beast"(what the heck?), on the 1.7-mile journey from the Capitol along the parade route to the White House. It reportedly has armour eight inches thick, tear-gas cannons and Kevlar-reinforced tyres that resist attack. For security reasons, most of the details remain confidential.


Okay, maybe I'm just being a little bit nit picky, but really. I mean, are you serious? "The Beast"? What are the odds? Maybe I'm showing my butt here, but that's almost comical. I'll let you draw your own conclusions. Let me know what you think.

On a lighter note......have you gotten this little pic in your inbox?

This is a good argument for Spanx

And this one is just precious:

No, my daughter did not draw this! Shame on you!

A first grade girl handed in the drawing above for a homework assignment.

After it was graded and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day with the following note:

Dear Ms. Davis,

I want to be very clear on my child's illustration. It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint. I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm. This drawing is of me selling a shovel.

Mrs. Harrington

Uh huh. Nice try Mrs. Harrington. Not buyin' it.

I seriously have nothing....

I'm tired and trying to recuperate from a crazy weekend. I will give you some photos of Lauren's birthday party at Grandma and Pipa's:

Lauren in her dress up clothes from GiGi and Pa Pop

Lauren's Birthday Cake

Lauren and her Uncle Tim (the cake maker)

Bye Bye Birdie

Oh, my. I don't know what to say. I went to open the front door this morning to find this:

Okay, not really, but the real thing would probably make you vomit. Our outside kitty left us the remains of one of our bantam chickens. A foot, a wing with some ribs and inside what was left of the bird.......a BB from our son's Red Rider....that he got for his birthday last April.....and shortly thereafter had taken away because he aimed it at his father.....not to shoot him, but just to get a target in sight.......It was actually kind of funny in retrospect.....but only because no one was hurt.

He has since gotten it back, but only because daddy made him memorize the gun safety rules. Rule #1~Never aim your gun at a person. (I guess chickens should have made it on that list.)

Well, Michael was already at school by the time I made the grizzly discovery.

He's got some 'splainin' to do.......Stay tuned....

****Update****

Michael was confronted about the BB and he absolutely claims innocence. I do believe him since he was almost in tears for me thinking that he would shoot one of our chickens. Maybe the clucker ate one of the BB's from the yard......

*****Also, a prayer request for my SIL, Darcee. She delivered her second child at 16 weeks 2 days gestation. Justin Timothy was laid to rest on January 15th. His heart stopped beating in utero about 2 weeks ago. Please pray for Darcee and Tim as they cope with this great loss.

Pink Cowgirl

I never thought it would be so blasted difficult to find an inexpensive pair of pink cowgirl boots! Last January, I got an incredible deal on a pair of Disney Princess Cowgirl boots at my beloved store for $5.....let me repeat that......$5!!! Those kind of deals just don't happen everyday. As many of you know, Lauren is my horsey-girl. She. loves. horses. She also wants to look like someone who loves horses. Hence, the pink cowgirl boots. When I found these last year, I had no idear how far that $5 would take me.

Fast forward to December of 2008. As I started my Christmas shopping, I, of course, was on the hunt for some more pink cowgirl boots. This girl has worn those things until they absolutely stink to high heavens. She has also outgrown them and still tries to wear them even though they are a little snug. I went back to Target to see if, maybe, just maybe they had a revised version of the boot. No. such. luck. Cowgirls don't do Ugg look-a-likes. No offense. They are cute boots, but they are not for aspiring horse-riders.

Next stop.

Wally World. They had some Hannah Montana boots, but they were black. The price was right, but I passed. They weren't pink. I thought, "I'm not gonna settle......she's worth it."

K-Mart had, again, black boots, but ya know, she's all about the pink.

Moving on.....to Tractor Supply. All things horse and cowgirl at Tractor Supply. They had the cutest pink boots. They were pink and brown actually. However....$49....not gonna do it. That was the clearance price. Sorry. Uuummmm....yeah...she's turning five. Her foot is going to outgrow this boot rather quickly. And um, well, we're poor. Have you seen how much country pastor's make? Well, let's just say, my deal at Target last year, was a dream come true.

Okay, so, I don't want to belabor this story any longer. I finally, after a lot of searching, found my LaLa a pair of pink, leather, real, cowgirl boots on EBAY. Love them. I paid less than $25 with shipping. Granted, it's not my $5 deal from last year, but please be happy for me and don't tell me if you think I got taken. K?

Her birthday is complete. She has already told me like 6 times (since 2:30 p.m. today) how much she loves them. So, below is a few pics of her with her new boots. The first is her copping an attitude because I attempted to fix her hair and she hates me messing with her hair. Loathes would probably be a more suitable term. So, I just threatened to take the boots out of her possession and the second picture is the result of that warning......much better.

With 'Tude

Sans 'Tude

12:12 p.m. part 2

I put together a little slideshow of Lauren. It will probably bore the heck out of most of you, but the family will enjoy it.

*** I am missing the pics from her 3rd birthday. I love digital cameras, but I'm so unorganized with my photos. Don't you hate that?***

12:12 p.m.

Today, Lauren's 5th Birthday

(notice the red fruit punch mustache)

On this day, 5 years ago, at 12:12 p.m. I gave birth to my first baby girl. We named her Lauren Elisabeth Botley. She came into this world weighing, 7 lbs. 10 oz.~A tiny tot for our family. Her big brother weighed 10 lbs. 1 1/2 oz............... He was 2 1/2 years old when "his Warnen" was born. When he first saw her he said "Heh-wo my Warnen, open yours eyes." So precious. Stay tuned for his birthday in April. Christmas 2008

Lauren has been a blessing beyond anything I could have ever possibly imagined. She has a true servant's spirit. She loves to help. She is gentle and kind and a bit moody on occasion. She comes by the last trait very easily. She loves horses. Her Sunday School teacher affectionately named her La La. The name stuck. I love my La La. She is my "pretty little girl."
December 2007


When she had to go back into the hospital for jaundice treatment I made up a song that I sang to her. I have made up a song for each of my children that I sing to them to calm them down. Hers is simple:

Lauren, you're my pretty little girl

Lauren, you're my pretty little girl

Lauren, you're my pretty little girl

and I love you, yes, I love you.

You would be amazed how quickly my kids calm down when I sing their song to them.

January 2008

We started today with a special breakfast. Chocolate chip waffles. Lauren had a balloon tied to her seat and a gift to open. She is wearing the cutest shirt. It has a birthday cake with five candles on it and she has a ribbon pinned to it that says "Birthday Princess"(See the first pic). We ate lunch at her school. We had pizza and fruit punch with cupcakes.

She is a princess.

She wants to marry her daddy. He is her prince. Their song is "Cinderella" by Steven Curtis Chapman. I cry every time I see him dance with her to that song. There is nothing more precious than the relationship between a father and his daughter.

Note to dads: Treat your daughter like a princess. It makes all the difference in the world. Trust me.

So, Lauren, I want you to know, you are my pretty little girl and I love you, yes I love you, horsey girl. Happy 5th Birthday, sweetie.

Lauren's First Horse Ride (2007)

Crack Corn

Not kidding. That's the name of this deliciousness. I went to my best friend's home over New Year's and she made this fabulous salsa/dip/relish. You can call it what you want, but whatever you call it, don't call it not good. Whatever.....I'm trying to be clever in my wording, but today is just not that day....So here is this crack-a-licious recipe:

Crack Corn

1 can Del Monte Fiesta Corn

1 can black beans

8-10 grape tomatoes, quartered

cilantro (use as much or as little as you like)

green onions, chopped (as much or as little as you like)

Italian salad dressing (just enough to wet the mixture)

Mix ingredients and refrigerate. Serve with tortilla chips. You may want to double the batch because it will disappear quickly.

You can thank me by leaving lots of comments.......

Yours truly,

♥Melissa♥

Hair Club for Tots

My Dearest Target,

I have loved you since high school, but something has recently given me cause to be mad at you. I still love you, but I just don't like you right now.

Why did you insist that I get hair glitter for my daughters' stocking stuffers? You seduced me by putting it right in the entry way in a $1 bin. I feel I was taken advantage of. I feel so used and frankly, I believe I was duped. I mean, the Disney princess on the label was very deceptive. Instead of labeling this stuff as hair glitter why not just call it what it is........sparkly spackle. I'm just asking for some sort of warning. Here's an example...

"WARNING: Do not use on real hair. Okay for barbie doll hair, but not human hair."

That would have been sufficient. I'm just sayin', bathing the girls before church yesterday was a chore in and of itself. Making their hair look cute for Sunday School, a challenge. But to have all that completely train wrecked by a stray bottle of hair glitter in the back seat of our minivan?

None of my money will cross the counter of your store again, until you mark down those cute miniature slinkys to 50 cents. I will always love you, Target. You're just going to have to sleep on

the couch until Lauren's hair grows back.

Always in my heart,

Melissa